Friday Funnies: Robert Purvis

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.

~Robert Purvis

Friday Funnies: Robert Purvis

Friday Funnies: Exercise

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Exercise

Friday Funnies: Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

~Franklin P. Jones

Friday Funnies: Franklin P. Jones

Friday Funnies: Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go

~Oscar Wilde

Friday Funnies: Oscar Wilde

Friday Funnies: Grain of Salt

I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Grain of Salt

Friday Funnies: Franklin Jones

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

~Franklin Jones

Friday Funnies: Franklin Jones

Friday Funnies: Wet Paint

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Wet Paint

Friday Funnies: Best Friend

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Best Friend

Friday Funnies: Brian Gerald O"Driscoll

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

~Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

Friday Funnies: Brian Gerald O"Driscoll

Friday Funnies: Axel Rose

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

~Axel Rose

Friday Funnies: Axel Rose

Friday Funnies: Hospitality

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Hospitality

Friday Funnies: Oscar Wilde

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

~Oscar Wilde

Friday Funnies: Oscar Wilde

Friday Funnies: In Trouble

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: In Trouble

Friday Funnies: Wilson Mizner

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

~Wilson Mizner

Friday Funnies: Wilson Mizner

Friday Funnies: That Moment

Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: That Moment

Friday Funnies: Good Evening

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Good Evening

Friday Funnies: Second Mouse

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Second Mouse

Friday Funnies: Agree With You

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

~Unknown

Friday Funnies: Agree With You

Friday Funnies: Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

~Isaac Asimov

Friday Funnies: Isaac Asimov

Friday Funnies: Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

~Bob Hope

Friday Funnies: Bob Hope